If the 3am thoughts are the ones that keep me hopeful. Then it is 12 am thoughts that destroy me. All that doubts and fears that hang over my head. All the horrible thoughts that hide as monsters under my bed.
My madness can still be hidden within my methods and pain still concealed with my smiles.
I'm messed up in the head, putting it bluntly.
But I've realized too late that some pleasures give the most pain.
Like you.
Yes, you.
Without even meaning to.
Without you, I never would have realized that people I've never bothered with before now haunt me like nightmares. They trail me like my shadow and grow taller when the sun sets. Because they have a tighter grip on you then I do. Because their imprints on you are like murals whereas mine are as tiny as a child's fingerprints.
I must admit that I cannot admit what truly is on my mind. For I fear I have already lost it in the depths of the ocean of thoughts that I have.
So I'm back to telling the world instead of you.
But only during midnight.
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