bloom

i. 
Pardon me for questioning your words, but is it me you really see? 
My interior, exterior, all of me?
Because you're the guy with the pretty girl track record and I'm a clean slate kid.
If I'm honest, you'd be my Chapter 2 and I'm betting I'm your Chapter 22. 
And I don't even know what to do when it comes to you. 
If I move forward, I fear I will trip. 
If I move backward, I fear I will slip.
If I stand still, the moment will fade, along with my chances and my day.
With you, my rhymes don't work and my rhymes sound the same. 
Like your old vinyls kept on replay. 

ii.
In this country that has no winter, I am content with our cool banter.
It keeps me up some nights, even paint some lines under my eyes.
Forgive me if I keep count of the times you made me feel alive. 
(It's still countable on one hand, by the way, but it's better that way.
At least I know take time to think on it.)
Because I am still dumbfounded what you see in me.

iii.
I know am made of stardust and I know am made of gold, but it is my spirit that makes me so bold.
So I stand in the bathroom, hands on the sink, staring at the refelection which is causing me to think.
There is nothing there that other girls don't have, except the angle, the curve and the lines that I am made of.
Perhaps if I could be proud of something within in me, it is the contents of my mind.
Filled with some books and some cleverness that I had strived hard to find.
But I still don't see why you think the word wonderful suits me!

iv.
Is it the pretty clothes that I wear? Is it because I say the words you want to hear? 
Is it because I show that I care?
Oh dear. I should've just stuck with my books and hid my face.
I apologize! I am sorry, truly I am!
Your ears must be ringing from all my questions.
But you see, this is what your words and actions have done to me! 
But I don't blame you. I don't blame you at all.

v.
But for now, I will leave you to rest. You never seem to sleep at the right time and I worry about you.
Please don't be fooled by the amount of questions I have. And please don't doubt my affections for you. 
Know that you can trust the words that I say.
Because even though I second guess myself, I never plan on saying anything to you that I don't mean.
But if you allow me this liberty, I'm only going to say this once. 
Right now, we might be something that I never expected, and we might find ourselves at the end sometime soon with one of us brokenhearted. 
But I pray we carry on and bloom into something different and new.
But if you hear me out, I promise you this. You're going to be one thing I'll never regret. 
For how can I forget something that made me feel cherished and valued?

vi.
Telling this to the world is easy. Telling you would be the biggest gamble of them all.